Mixed Emotions

So Christmas is in a week and I have to say, I have had the most mixed emotions about the whole thing. This has definitely been the busiest Christmas I've had in a long time. Each week seems to be getting busier and busier and I wish there was a pause button I could push to make it all stop!! Christmas parties, shopping, cleaning, weddings, service, birthday parties, work, choir practice, laundry, naps (out of shear exhaustion!!) and the list goes on!

On one hand, I have loved this year because there have been so many opportunities to serve. In lue of a traditional Christmas party this year, our ward arranged to help out several refugee families in the SLC area. We did an angel tree, food drive, appliance/housewares drive, made over 150 fleece blankets and hand made wool mittens. It has been awesome and has really helped me get into the Christmas spirit. It feels good to know you're helping someone else-- and especially when they really need it.

This coming Sunday is our Christmas program and I'm singing in 3 groups--the ward choir, a woman's group and a duet. Along with all of these groups comes their practice schedule as well. I love the opportunity to sing, but I can't help but look at my watch when our 1 hour practice has gone over 15 minutes and it's 9:15 and I still need to get home, get my child in bed (PJ's, teeth, story, prayers...etc.) get my self ready for bed, get past all of the distractions on the way to my bed and actually fall asleep. I don’t think I would be such a worrier about time if I didn't have to get up at 4:40 every morning. Sleep is precious and lately opportunities for it are few and far between.

One of the hardest things to overcome is the effects of my job. I work from home doing sales for several companies. I basically place orders for people who call in to buy products they hear about on radio ads or from infomercials. Glamourous, I know. Some days I actually really enjoy my job, but lately I have found myself getting a little edgy with my customers--which isn't like me. I hate to point the finger, but it's their fault! I wish I could play you a recording of some of the people I talk to. Yes, I am a sales person. My job is to sell products. That is how I make my living. HOWEVER, when I signed up for this job, I did NOT check my heart in at the door. I am not a heartless automated attendant, I'm a human being and I expect to be treated as such. It's a tough expectation to have when some lady calls in with her panties all in a wad who only wants to buy the product she calls in for and doesn't want to hear about the extended warrantee and the 3 other up sells you have to tell her about, that she might actually want if she would shut her mouth and listen for a second....breathe........... I don't remember being effected by the "bah-hum-buggers" of the season last year, but this year I've had it. My patience is much more thin and I have a hard time finding that little extra push to stay unaffected in the midst of a customers tirade. It's easy to forget you're working with a person when you're talking on the phone, but we have feelings too. (sniff sniff )

Tomorrow I'm actually throwing a birthday party for Lucy. It's just a small get together with a few of her friends, but still it's one more thing on the list. I'm actually excited for it and think it will be lots of fun, but I've got a growing checklist of things that need to be done for it and a host of other things that have to get done as well. All in good time, I suppose. All in good time.

So with Christmas next week and still a long list of shopping to be done, presents to be wrapped, recipes to cook and memories to be made, I find myself here with mixed emotions. Despite the frustration and exhaustion that comes from the holiday season, I'm grateful for the raunchy customers because it means I have a job. I'm grateful for the many opportunities to serve because it means I am already taken care of. I'm grateful for the opportunities to sing because it means my vocal chords won't shrivel up and fall out ;o) and I'm grateful for this morning when Lucy came into my room and said "Mom, I just want you to come snuggle with me in my bed." Of course I logged out from work instantly and went to snuggle with my little girl.