The Musician in Me

Recently I was given specific instruction on what I need to be doing in my life.  This wasn't just someone telling me what to do, it came from a trusted source. THE source I go to for guidance and direction. Since this instruction was given I've decided it's time to learn how to play the guitar. I've always wanted to but never had the time or the drive. Now I have both and I'm excited. I traded my brother my electronic keyboard for his old acoustic. Now if I only knew how to play it.

Marry Me

There's this song by Train that I've discovered and I wanted to share it with you. It's simple, but I love the words. No this isn't linked to any relationship, but it is sort of my manifestation of the love I am welcoming into my life. I've italicized words that speak to me. The song in playing on my playlist so turn up your volume, close your eyes and enjoy...

Forever can never be long enough for me

To feel like I've had long enough with you

Forget the world now, we won't let them see

But there's one thing left to do

Now that the weight has lifted

Love has surely shifted my way

Marry me today and every day

Marry me if I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe

Say you will, say you will

Together can never be close enough for me

To feel like I am close enough to you

You wear white and I'll ware out the words I love you

And you're beautiful

Now that the wait is over

And love has finally shown her my way

Marry me today and every day

Marry me if I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe

Say you will, say you will

Promise me you'll alway be happy by my side

I promise to sing to you when all the music dies

Marry me today and every day

Marry me if I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe

Say you will, say you will

♥ Melissa

Things As They Really Are

In some ways I live a very disconnected life. Although I see my family often, almost all of my friends are "virtual", meaning that our relationship is exclusively online. Sure, at one point we were friends in "real life", but now our friendship consists of emails, wall posts and status updates. It's a great way to keep in touch with the masses, don't get me wrong. But I'll admit, part of me longs for that human connection. It's something easily lost in today's electronic society.

Over the last year since I've been dating online I've recognized how easy and yet how difficult it is to actually meet and get to know someone exclusively on line. We read someones profile and in a matter of minutes asses if they're the right one for us or not. We may easily connect online, but due to time, distance and the balancing of priorities it's difficult to find/make the time actually BE in a relationship. Sure, there's usually a picture and a paragraph to describe the person, but it will always fall short to the magnificence that is that human being. I find myself doing it all the time and know it's been done to me a million times as well.

On my profile I'm 5' 9" brunette with sometimes straight, sometimes wavy hair who likes conversation, discussing politics, American Idol and camping.  But what those people don't see is the way I listen when they speak. Or the way I sing like a rock star in the car when I'm driving alone. They don't see me struggeling to feel like an adequate parent and how most days I'm elated if I get my bed made.  There not amazing or unique things, but they are things that are uniquely me. My profile or my facebook page could never show you the human being I am the way being with me will.

There's a tinge of sadness when I think of all the great people and moments I'm missing everyday. But I also remember some of the amazing moments I've had- like when I met Art at the McDonald's play land and we talked for over an hour. The time I met Holly on the plane to Vegas and we talked the entire flight. (We're still facebook friends to this day!) Or meeting Diane at Calyco training when we instantly clicked and became friends on day one. So many great moments are made when the spirit and body of two people are there to experience it together.

If you get a minute to yourself, check out this article by Elder Bednar. Whether you're LDS or not, it's a great reminder of the importance of being present in your relationships.

Love to you all!

Melissa

Energy Work

Next week I'm going down to St. George to learn the art of energy work. I love the varried reactions I get from people when I tell them what I'm going to do. My favorite is when a friend thought I was going to work for the power company laying power lines. LOL!! Just give me a hard hat and point me to a ladder ;)

No I haven't joined the power workers union. I'm going to learn an amazing skill that has changed my life in hopes that I can use it to change the lives of others. When I was first introduced to energy work I wasnt sure about it. I didn't really understand it, but I knew that there were things I wanted to change about myself that I felt powerless to change. I had struggled with them so long and after many failed attempts to change, had almost resigned myself to dealing with it forever.  I was ridden with fear and had lots of anger resulting from my divorce. I hated the idea that I would have to live the rest of my life dealing with these emotions. A dear friend explained that I don't have to live a life as a victim to those emotions and convinced me to give energy work a try. Afterall-- what did I have to loose? She was exactly right. Worse case scenario I would end up the frustrated mess I was at the time, and I could deal with that. It was a chance to change and I took it.

You're probably wondering what energy work is, so let me explain. In our body we have all our body systems: the nervous system, circulatory system, etc. These systems effect how our body functions. In our body we also have energy systems: shakra's, meridians, aura, etc.  You may have heard of them before as well, but you most likely didn't learn about them in health class ;) These systems house your emotions.  Our emotions reside in the form of energy in our system and they effect how we think and feel every day.

Have you ever felt like you were meant to something great, but you felt like your efforts to achieve that always fall short? Often times those negative emotions and beliefs are what hold us back from getting what we want. Energy work allows us to find and remove those blocks and beliefs and replace them with positive energy and affirmations.  Another important thing to know about energy work is that sometimes we are vicitim to beliefs and energy that is passed down from our ancestors. Often time feelings that a progenetor had centuries ago have been passed down through our DNA and end up with us. For example, I come from an extrememly loving and supportive home. I have always felt and known the love of my family. I have no reason to fear being loved, but I do. I have most of my life. Through energy work I have been able to remove that block.  I heard it explained like this. Energy work is like unlocking the doors of a car. When you're in the car and you want to get out, if the doors are locked no matter what you try you can't seem go get out. By removing that bad energy, you have unlocked the doors. It is now free and safe for you to get out of the car. You stilll have to do the work ,but those negative beliefs that have been holding you back are no longer there limiting you.

I cannot even tell you the profound change I have seen in myself since I started doing energy work. To put it in a way that you  might understand it better, I feel like I have been taken out of a room where my choices and options were limited and have been set up on a mountain where I can see every possibility and opportunity availble to me. It has helped replace anger with peace and self doubt with faith. It has helped me find joy where there was fear. Ultimately it has made me more aware of my Savior and how ready he is to bless me if I will only accept his blessings. I am elated that soon I will be able to share this with others.

If you're interested in learning more about energy work, please don't hesistate to ask.

♥ Love you all--

Melissa

We're a team

Single motherhood is rough somedays. The days that are the hardest seem to be when I feel like I have to fight with Lucy to get her to listen and obey. It's frustrating because as a parent, your motives are to protect and to prevent things from happening, but from a 3 year olds perspective, all Mom does is spoil the fun. In an effort to work together more, I've been referring to us as a team. I give more insentives and less punishments and it seems to work...most days.

Almost every day I remind Lucy of our "team-hood":

Me:  "Remember, we are a..."
Lucy: "TEAM!!"
Me: "That's right! And we work..."
Lucy: "TOGETHER"
Me: "That's right!! Team Mom and Lucy.  And how do we work together?"
Lucy: "We listen and obey"
Me: "That's right!"

I love being a mom--I wouldn't trade it for anything ♥

Bad blogger!!

I'm a bad blogger. Probably for the same reason why I'm a bad journal writer too. I get feeling like I have to write a lot and it has to be filled with detail and description.  But in reality, halfway through, I get overwhelmed and realize that the post I thought would take me 20 minutes to write is in all reality going to take me 2 hours and I get overwhelmed and stop.  Sad isn't it!!  Over the past few months while I've been hiding from all blogdom, I've noticed a lot of things that my my friends blogs so successful.

1. They blog regularly--every day or at least a few times a week.
2. Length. Their posts aren't all long. Some are, but most are relatively small or moderate in length and really get to the point.
3. They keep it real. I love reading my friends blogs where they just say it like it is. No deep thinking, no big words. they just keep it real real simple.

So needless to say, you will be hearing from me more often. Not everyday....baby steps people. Baby steps. But more often. And I'm going to start telling you more about me. Not that I haven't, but I want you to see more of me on an every day level. I have a great life. Kinda boring somedays, but nevertheless a great life. So don't banish me from your blog check list, as some have done :(  I'm here and I'm writing.