Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Things As They Really Are

In some ways I live a very disconnected life. Although I see my family often, almost all of my friends are "virtual", meaning that our relationship is exclusively online. Sure, at one point we were friends in "real life", but now our friendship consists of emails, wall posts and status updates. It's a great way to keep in touch with the masses, don't get me wrong. But I'll admit, part of me longs for that human connection. It's something easily lost in today's electronic society.

Over the last year since I've been dating online I've recognized how easy and yet how difficult it is to actually meet and get to know someone exclusively on line. We read someones profile and in a matter of minutes asses if they're the right one for us or not. We may easily connect online, but due to time, distance and the balancing of priorities it's difficult to find/make the time actually BE in a relationship. Sure, there's usually a picture and a paragraph to describe the person, but it will always fall short to the magnificence that is that human being. I find myself doing it all the time and know it's been done to me a million times as well.

On my profile I'm 5' 9" brunette with sometimes straight, sometimes wavy hair who likes conversation, discussing politics, American Idol and camping.  But what those people don't see is the way I listen when they speak. Or the way I sing like a rock star in the car when I'm driving alone. They don't see me struggeling to feel like an adequate parent and how most days I'm elated if I get my bed made.  There not amazing or unique things, but they are things that are uniquely me. My profile or my facebook page could never show you the human being I am the way being with me will.

There's a tinge of sadness when I think of all the great people and moments I'm missing everyday. But I also remember some of the amazing moments I've had- like when I met Art at the McDonald's play land and we talked for over an hour. The time I met Holly on the plane to Vegas and we talked the entire flight. (We're still facebook friends to this day!) Or meeting Diane at Calyco training when we instantly clicked and became friends on day one. So many great moments are made when the spirit and body of two people are there to experience it together.

If you get a minute to yourself, check out this article by Elder Bednar. Whether you're LDS or not, it's a great reminder of the importance of being present in your relationships.

Love to you all!



Katie said...

Yes to everything. I'm not sure how to change it though. As a single mom, I'm so busy. I was emailing my single friend about this. She told me her girlfriends are her support system. I lamented that it was hard to find time, and she responded that she only sees her girlfriends when her kids are at dad's house. Well, I don't have that option, so that explains why it's hard to get together!

I like going to others' houses, but my kids are ACTIVE BOYS. It sometimes ends up with embarrassment or damage :-)

I know one way I can start changing this though, and that is by getting together with you at a park or something on some Saturday. I definitely want to do it!

Melissa said...

I completely understand what you're saying Katie. I know it's the same for me. I think the key is just allowing more person to person contact. For me, I'm offering to do more sessions in person instead of over the phone. I'm going to invite friends to go to the park instead of me just going with Lucy. They're small things, but by small and simple things are great things brought to pass, right? :)

Anonymous said...

I 100% agree with you and love how you worded this post. It is so true...and I find myself more and more telling myself to get off the computer and start making some stories with my life. Have you read "A million Miles in a thousand years" by Donald Miller? If you haven't you should. I think this post coincides with what he is trying to say which is...get out, take some chances, meet people, dare to live your dreams and you just might find yourself caught up in an amazing life story!

I wish we lived closer...I'd meet you for coffee (or tea or hot chocolate) and a really good mama conversation ;) Face to face!